[ Episode 18 ] Confessional

[Chelsea Meissner]

[Chelsea Meissner]

I've blindesided a few times in the game, but that was the first time I've been blindesided. And now what happens? I'm left with almost nothing. Matt was one of the two people I trusted more than anything in this game. I love him as a person and as a friend and to see him go out at the Final 6 when I feel like, he deserved a higher placing as opposed to the likes of Mick, Sandra, and Tom? It just makes me sick to my stomach. Who was the other person I trusted? Sydney; A big emphasis on the "was".

She lied to my face. I specifically asked her before the vote, "This isn't gonna' be one of those times you vote with me but then just tell everyone else to vote me or Matt out, right?" What was her answer? "LMAO no". Thanks, Sydney. I never lied to her in this game about a vote or what I was gonna' do. She may not have backstabbed me specifically, but it still feels the same. Sydney was one of my best friends in ORGs, and now I don't know if she's even that anymore. I don't know what to feel.

She told me her reasoning for doing this was because she had to "protect Mick". She and Mick didn't like that Mick was going to be axed at the F4. Um, Sydney is the one that told me Mick wanted to bow out at the Final 4. She made it like it was okay. She lied then too, I guess. She wasn't okay with it, and apparently neither was Mick, even though he said he was.

It's just a little embarrassing too, is all. Talking to Sydney for a few hours before the vote about how we're going to take out Sandra and we're making our votes together, etc. And then she goes and does this? What makes it worse is that she only tied it up for pity .. to spare my feelings. If you're gonna' rip the band-aid off, do it fast .. don't do it slowly.

[Chelsea Meissner]

This game once again proves how crazy and unpredictable it can be. I went from top dog to underdog, in my mind. Is there any way out of this? I'm left with Sydney, Mick, Sandra, and Tom. Mick is with Sydney, Sydney is with Tom, Tom is with Sandra. They're all connected and the core component to them is Sydney. She's making the end already, that's a given. But now that leaves me as the odd woman out. It's awful.

I've never been put in a position like this. I feel like a fish out of water. I have to fight hard for Immunity or there's a good chance I'm gone. Sandra will vote for me, Tom will vote for me .. and Mick would probably vote for me. Heck, Sydney would probably vote for me out of paranoia for taking out Matt, just 'cause she'd think I'm after her. Truth be told, I'm not. I respect she and Matt as players, which is why I wanted us three in the end. I feel like that ever since the latter part of this game, we three played the best games. I don't like endings with a goat. She does.

Sydney wants Tom in the end. And I guess that makes sense for her. But that's the difference between us, I suppose. I would have rather battled it out against the best of the best, whether I won or lost, instead of facing off against a follower. Dumb or not, I just respect my way more.

I don't really find a need to talk to any of them at this point. If I wanna' talk to Sandra, Mick, or Tom, I should probably just talk to Sydney, because they're her puppets pretty much. What I say to her will be relayed back to them. Sandra's probably all giddy for taking me out next round and so is Tom, more than likely. Good for them. It was a good move. Overall, I just feel defeated at this point. I've been through way too much in this game and it feels like this was the last straw.

I can make it or break it.

[Chelsea Meissner]

FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT ..

Sydney Wheeler: (10:33:49 PM) its gonna tie
Sydney Wheeler: (10:34:09 PM) micks voted matt
Chelsea Meissner: (10:34:23 PM) ..
Chelsea Meissner: (10:34:28 PM) Are you serious?
Sydney Wheeler: (10:34:33 PM) yes
Chelsea Meissner: (10:34:38 PM) You knew?
Sydney Wheeler: (10:34:49 PM) i couldnt rat him out or it could of flipped on him
Chelsea Meissner: (10:34:55 PM) Wow, Sydney.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:34:59 PM) I even asked you.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:35:19 PM) i voted sandra
Chelsea Meissner: (10:35:19 PM) What the hell.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:35:27 PM) We were on board for Careers.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:35:29 PM) The entire time.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:35:35 PM) i know this
Chelsea Meissner: (10:35:44 PM) Then why would you flip and tie it.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:35:52 PM) You lied to me when I asked you.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:36:03 PM) because i didnt want mick to get blindsided
Chelsea Meissner: (10:36:25 PM) NOBODY WAS VOTING MICK.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:36:26 PM) AT ALL.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:36:33 PM) How did that get in your head.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:36:36 PM) IF I TOLD YOU
Chelsea Meissner: (10:36:36 PM) Why would he vote out Matt.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:36:44 PM) MICK WAS VOTING MATT,....
Sydney Wheeler: (10:36:50 PM) THEN IT COULD OF
Chelsea Meissner: (10:36:55 PM) If Mick's playing your game, then he would have done what you wanted.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:37:01 PM) and im not screaming im just trying to defend why i couldnt tell you
Chelsea Meissner: (10:37:06 PM) Matt and I never would vote Mick at all.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:37:13 PM) mick says he thought voting out matt was better for me
Chelsea Meissner: (10:37:23 PM) Whatever, this pisses me off.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:37:26 PM) i said i couldnt do that to you
Chelsea Meissner: (10:37:32 PM) I had a gut feeling this was gonna' happen.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:37:35 PM) Which is why I asked you.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:37:45 PM) i couldnt tell. he gave me two idols
Sydney Wheeler: (10:38:01 PM) the way u never wanted to vote matt was the same for him
Sydney Wheeler: (10:38:15 PM) we've both kept secrets from eachother in regards to them whilst still being loyal to e/o
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:22 PM) I WOULD NEVER.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:24 PM) TAKE OUT MICK.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:25 PM) OR.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:25 PM) TOM.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:28 PM) WITHOUT TELLING YOU.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:34 PM) I made that a point.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:38:44 PM) I didnt take out Matt
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:45 PM) No, you got your minions to.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:38:47 PM) ifi voted him I would have
Sydney Wheeler: (10:38:56 PM) THE ONLY THING
Chelsea Meissner: (10:38:56 PM) SYDNEY, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:39:00 PM) YOU CONTROL MICK BASICALLY.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:39:01 PM) keeping me from doing so, was you
Chelsea Meissner: (10:39:04 PM) HOW COULD YOU NOT CONTROL THIS.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:39:09 PM) HE said he wanted to do matt
Chelsea Meissner: (10:39:17 PM) So what, re-vote?
Chelsea Meissner: (10:39:20 PM) It's gonna' tie again?
Sydney Wheeler: (10:39:26 PM) i dont know
Chelsea Meissner: (10:39:32 PM) And then me and Matt are gonna' be picked off?
Sydney Wheeler: (10:39:38 PM) ur not
Sydney Wheeler: (10:39:40 PM) going anywhere lol
Sydney Wheeler: (10:44:17 PM) please forgive me for not telling you. i hope you can see me wanting to protect mick's safety as a fair reason
Chelsea Meissner: (10:44:50 PM) It's fine, no one was gonna' vote him. I wouldn't let Matt vote either of you.
Chelsea Meissner: (10:45:00 PM) I just thought you'd atleast help me in the same way and not let Mick vote Matt.
Sydney Wheeler: (10:45:05 PM) not gonna let any1 touch u either
Sydney Wheeler: (11:08:45 PM) r u not speaking to me
Chelsea Meissner: (11:09:03 PM) Idk what to say.
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:11 PM) well what more
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:15 PM) do u wanna know
Chelsea Meissner: (11:09:22 PM) Nothing, really.
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:34 PM) i mean matt/you/me
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:37 PM) was ur ideal f3
Chelsea Meissner: (11:09:41 PM) Mhm?
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:44 PM) i was never
Sydney Wheeler: (11:09:50 PM) wanting to bring matt to the end



BACK TO TODAY ..

Sydney Wheeler: (2:40:53 PM) hi can this not be awk ;o
Chelsea Meissner: (2:41:22 PM) Am I going next?
Sydney Wheeler: (2:41:35 PM) no wtf, did u forget everything last night?
Chelsea Meissner: (2:41:41 PM) I don't think you'll vote for me ..
Chelsea Meissner: (2:41:42 PM) But are the puppets going to?
Sydney Wheeler: (2:41:43 PM) like everything i was saying?
Chelsea Meissner: (2:41:48 PM) No, I know you won't.
Sydney Wheeler: (2:41:51 PM) nobody is gonna take u out
Sydney Wheeler: (2:41:59 PM) nor will i let that happen
Sydney Wheeler: (2:42:01 PM) like i did with matt
Chelsea Meissner: (2:42:05 PM) Okay.

[Chelsea Meissner]

So, I was 12 minutes slower than the tied time. I thought I actually did super bad .. that was until I saw Sandra's score and then the fact that Mick gave up. I'll take smack dab in the middle of the pack as opposed to dead last. Sydney and Tom tied for first place with exactly one hour, but when it came down to the tie breaker .. Tom walked away with Immunity again. Seriously? Yeesh! He's slaying these competitions like crazy!

With Tom winning, the plan is to vote Sandra out of the game. Now, do I believe this? Lol. I mean, I don't think Sydney will vote for me to go, but as we all saw last round, that doesn't exactly mean all her minions will vote the same way. She's promised to me and sworn up and down that Mick is taking out Sandra though, so if Tom doesn't stick to that, the vote will still end up being 3-2 with Sandra leaving the game tonight.

Sandra needs to go. I really can't stand her anymore. I can't even pretend smiling and talking to her like everything's okay. I wanted to start a fight in Tribal Council because A) I was bored B) If I'm going to leave, I want to trash Sandra's game so she knows how worthless she's been and C) I don't have anything to really lose by doing it. I think it's high time she got her torch snuffed. She's definitely escaped one too many times and I'm prayin' that Mick is voting her out. I want nothing more than her gone.

[no]

Hi.

[Chelsea Meissner]

Bye.

[The One and Only BOB DAWG]

Hi!

[no]

YOU'RE RUDE!!!